| My husband, Jeff, has a progressive hearing loss and became
profoundly deaf at the age of 24. He had significant hearing loss
all of his life, but experienced a great reduction in hearing (bilaterally)
while driving home from work one day. I knew immediately that he
and "we" would face many new
challenges in the coming weeks, months, and years.
Up until that time, Jeff had been able to communicate fairly well
over the phone and made very good use of his hearing aid. With magnificent
speechreading skills and superb speech, he functioned very well
in one-on-one situations and in small groups.
Suddenly, he could no longer understand anything more than YES,
NO, or I DON'T KNOW on the phone. He could understand very little
when listening to a speaker at church, at a conference, in a museum,
on a tour, etc. His great love of music was quietly put away, along
with the joy that we experienced together listening to concerts
and the like. Jeff slowly grew into this new way of life. He came
to accept the knowledge that in most situations, he would have a
greater need for accommodations such as interpreters. Thankfully,
we were both fluent in sign language. We joined our local SHHH chapter.
We gained knowledge of devices that were extremely helpful to our
daily living situation, such as an alphapager. Oh, the joy of getting
the message across that him stopping for some milk on the way home
would be such a help! He also learned much about the art of self-advocacy
from many good role models and friends.
Jeff and I married and a few years later, along came Jordan. When
Jordan was about 2 1/2, Jeff really began to get frustrated with
his hearing loss. I watched him time after time, trying so hard
to understand what Jordan was t rying to tell him. It seemed to
me that by the time he understood a word Jordan was saying, he was
too mentally exhausted to teach him the sign for it. I had always
been more than happy to interpret anything anywhere for Jeff, but
I refused to be the relay between Jeff and his son. Parenting was
becoming more difficult for both of us. Jeff often didn't seem to
"be onthe same page" with me. I would be downstairs disciplining
Jordan for something and Jeff would come down wondering why Jordan
was upset -- and tended to question the discipline. It is hard to
understand why your toddler is being discliplined when you did not
hear what he/she has said -- or did not do as he/she was told. Still,
we were very happy and worked together to meet the challenges of
hearing loss.
In my work with families of deaf/hh children, I had been listening
to more and more success stories and impressive research results
about cochlear implants. About this time, a friend told us about
another deaf friend who was doing very well with her new cochlear
implant. She also suggested that we watch some of the videos produced
within the CI industry. We decided that even if a CI was not a good
option for Jeff, it was time for an evaluation. We could not begin
to even form an opinion without being better educated on the topic
of cochlear implantation in adults.
During the evaluation at UNC-Chapel Hill, Jeff understood only
4% in sentences at normal converational loudness level with his
hearing aid on. He could not even be tested on individual words.
While this was no real shock to me, it still made me incredibly
sad to think again about what a struggle daily life really was for
Jeff. As so many deaf and hard of hearing people, Jeff had learned
to use so many communication cues with such subtleness that many
people he met had no idea he was hearing only 4%!
Within days, Jeff decided that he did indeed want to have the surgery.
We both felt that he had so little to lose, but so much to possibly
gain. We tried very hard not to let our expectations get the best
of us. We truly hoped that Jeff would get back to where he was functioning
10 years prior. I certainly hoped that at least he would be able
to understand some portion of what I (a familiar voice) might say
on the phone. Most of all, Jeff wanted to hear more of what Jordan
had to say. At hook-up, the tension caused by some surgical complications
-- namely, Jeff's failure to heed the post op instructions - soon
turned into excitement! Carol had Jeff listen to her voice naming
the days of the week while she stood behind his back. He appeared
to get a couple of them right just by chance. Not so impressive,
given that this was a very small closed set. Then, a short while
later, Carol asked him to do the task again. This time he got them
all right! At this point, I was not only hopeful, I was elated!
Jeff continued to make daily improvements. There are so many wonderful
moments.... Within days of hookup, he listened to Jordan singing
in the backseat in the dark. "Is that Old McDonald? Way Up
High in the Apple Tree? The Wheels on the Bus?" Before surgery,
he would not have even realized Jordan was singing. After a day
full of testing in the soundbooth, I snuck in a copy of some of
his favorite Buddy Holly songs. The audiologist asked him to hang
in there for just one more test. He listened intently as the music
played, then burst into laughter and tears when he recognized "Maybe
Baby." Jeff was soon feeling confident enough to try talking
on the phone. Before surgery, he often spoke directly to a caller
over the speaker phone while I interpreted what they were saying.
Just one week after hookup, he called his parents, no hands involved.
All four of us were crying before it was over and I got it on videotape!
Within a few short months, I sat beside him in church instead of
in front of him to interpret. I took my cue to do this when I noticed
that not only was he not looking at me, but he was mouthing the
exact words as the children up front were singing! Daily communication
with Jordan quickly became much easier. We both figured out that
"Weh-woo Wee-wos" meant that he wanted to see the Rescue
Heroes movie! Jeff sometimes understood Jordan better than I could
because he still had those incredible speechreading skills to go
along with his newfound hearing.
I had not focused on the loss of music in our lives when Jeff became
deaf. When he could no longer hear or respond to "I love you"
on the phone, music seemed to be the least of our worries. One day,
a few weeks after surgery, we were driving home and I was listening
to one of our favorite artist, James Taylor. We got to the garage
and I realized that Jeff was listening too. He was able to understand
enough to sing along with "Shower the People You Love With
Love." We turned off the car and sat while the joyous tears
rolled down our faces.
After three years with his cochlear implant, Jeff does the most
amazing things. He chats on his cell phone, participates in conference
calls, rarely needs an interpreter for even the most difficult listening
task, etc. We welcomed the birth of our second son without the aid
of an interpreter.Jeff has enjoyed every minute of Jackson's cooing,
laughing, babbling, and loved hearing those first words. A favorite
hobby now is watching old videotapes to hear some of the things
that he has missed -- especially our wedding day and Jordan's first
3 years. Parenting has become much easier for both us and we feel
so blessed. I am often reminded that I have gotten nearly as much
benefit as Jeff has from the amazing technology available today.
---Jenni
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